Breakthrough!

Have to share...just need to..want to. Compelled to.

I had an amazing breakthrough just a couple days ago..with a lie that I had been living out for over 30 years.
A fear that had gripped me, toyed with me, held me hostage and literally was an obsession.

It told me if I let go of it...I'd completely lose control. And one of my greatest fears would become a reality.
I carried this fear, this lie around, for so long it felt like a part of me. I didn't see the lie...how could I, I had invited it into my life..unknowingly when I was just barely a teen. Young, naive and trying to do the right thing.

This lie, taunted me, it played with me, depressed me and made me feel inadequate and like a loser.

Nothing was good enough to quench this lie. I couldn't work hard enough, obsess enough, to rid myself of it.

Oh the pool full of tears I have shed over this lie. The novel length, countless journals I have filled.

The hatred it rose in me for myself and my lack of control. The words of disgust it caused me to yell of how horrible I was....

Lies are like that....Fears are like that. They hold you captive, with small "truths" twisted and disguised. Lies can't create from nothing, they aren't that talented, they build from some small truth and distort to make themselves believable. Fear is similar. Not able to do anything without a small truth attached.

They are sordid, horrendous creatures that seek to destroy and tear down. Their main objective is to cause harm. There is no good in them, they want to control, manipulate ...they want to make you hurt.

Mine was so unwanted, but at the same time..the lie it held me with was the letting go part...I'd lose control!!!

I'd become....fat.

I found out, it was a lie on top of a lie. A fear holding tight to a lie to hold me captive in a self destructive pattern. That only led to bondage...not freedom.

So,
I saw the lie, I was fearful, but I exposed it, called it by name...and rejected it. I called it out. It has no authority in MY life. It has no place in my world any longer.
 I am beautiful, I am loved. I am free.
The fear was exposed as ridiculous...unfounded. Weak, it literally left without a fight.
The fear no longer has any grip on me.

I am completely able to walk in peace knowing.... That no matter what...no matter how big..or small I am. No matter.
I am Loved. Completely, utterly, fully.

LOVED
Pressed down, shaken together and running over...Loved.

Free

MOG-in along

This MOG thing has inspired me.

I want to start a website for MOG's. But...I wonder...how wanted or needed is it actually? Who would actually use it? Or even search for it?

I know, I'm an unusual MOG. I have loved weddings, I love designing and party planning. I enjoy so much finding creative ideas and working them together to make something unique and beautiful. I have a great eye and I can envision how things should look...or could look...will look or would look. Good and bad.
I have lots to learn, and I'm certainly not the ultimate best at it...but ya know...I'm pretty darn good. And most of my friends know it. I guess it's one of those obvious things.

So at any rate...I'm unusual. I search and look online too. That's something else unique about me. I'm not the status quo of surface information. I dig. I ask questions and I look for other options. I like being different and i like finding something "special".

Hmm...I'm wondering if this post is making any sense at all.

Ok, let's start at the beginning again.

Inspired
MOG website
Who would use it
I'm unique

ya...would there be any other MOG's out there who would actually be interested in a website dedicated to them?
I guess that is the million dollar question...who would actually look for it?

What do other MOG's do or think while the wedding is being planned? They have stuff of their own....rehearsal dinner, finding an outfit....what else do they involve themselves in?

I've talked with a few.
Some have little or nothing to do with the wedding planning at all. Some get involved cuz the bride is very close to them and she loves including her future MIL. Others have stepped out of bounds and bought things for the bride...aka centerpieces, without permission or being asked to. Others are involved on small levels, here and there as the bride permits.
Others keep waaay outta the way, wanting to keep their noses clean cuz they don't want to jeopardize their relationship with their son by stepping on any bridal toes. And still others have chosen when and where they Will be involved, no questions asked and no arguments accepted.

I'm in the category of sitting back, waiting and offering my help, if it's taken and received, great, if not....that's fine too.
It's an odd place to be....at least I find it odd.
After all...it's my sons wedding.
But alas, he ...being a he...and the he that he is...well...he is a good he and is doing the most amazing job of being that he.
Which leaves me being the MOG, with a rehearsal dinner to plan.

And really, that is awesome.
It's great that our future DIL is confidently moving forward, along with the help of Mom and friends to make the wedding of her desires come into fruition.

But again...the question begs an answer....

What other MOG would even care or have use for a website dedicated to them.

Wow...I rabbit trail a lot!

More MOG stuff

http://pinterest.com/lambow/mother-of-the-groom-if-any-of-my-sons-find-out-abo/

for more of my....let's say...tongue in cheek and visual thoughts on the life of a MOG, check out my pinterest board.

And for the record....this particular board was started  BEFORE any of my sons were dating or engaged.

Please....
laugh..it is NOT intended to be taken seriously!!

I'm a MOG

Mother of the Groom.
It's a new one for me. I've had lots of roles in weddings, but this one is a first. I have 2 more after this one...but for now...I'm on a learning curve.

I tell my oldest all the time he's my guinea pig. But truth be told, they all are. I digress....I'm talkin' wedding stuff today, not child rearing.

So MOG I be.
What I have learned so far:

- it really IS the brides day
- keeping your nose out of things is as easy as you choose it to be
- having an awesome future daughter in law makes it a heck of a lot easier
- dress shopping for such a day is not as easy as it sounds
- there are still areas to "let go" of your son
- tears are annoying
- tears are deceiving
- tears are inevitable...get use to it

I'm sure there's more.....it is a learning curve for this chickie who has planned, decorated, participated in, been involved in, helped with numerous areas in and assisted, many brides on their wedding days. This MOG's  place is to sit back, offer help, support, encouragement, small insignificant ideas and pour myself into the planning of the rehearsal dinner to help satisfy the planning bug!

The dress shopping hasn't actually been too painful....yet. So far I've just been making fun and groaning at the "Mother of the Groom/Bride" options. ARE THEY KIDDING ME!?  How frickin' old is the typical MOG?
95!?
Then for some odd reason....the pendulum swings far left and some of the dresses look like pageant costumes for 5 year old mini beauty queens. Good grief.

So the rules for dresses for me so far are:
- no white
- no black
- no mini
- no boobage
- no matronly
- no little jacket thingy that matches and I guess is suppose to add some kind of gawd awful style to the already hideous dress.

Shouldn't be too hard....right?

Promising no?
Maybe the fact that it doesn't actually do up in the back cuz it's about 4 sizes too small?
Ya...
and the fact that I can hardly drag the weight of it around. By the end of the day I would actually be able to fit into it from the massive calories burned from hauling that thing everywhere. Oye!

I think I'll continue my search.
Violet prom may not be the best look for this MOG for a November wedding.

Hmm...I wonder how red sequins would look......